Spending as a compulsion

Wow, I am way behind in blogging! I hope to get caught up in the next week or so–I need to post October and November results. Watch for those!

When it comes to my credit card elimination plan, the most significant step I have taken in the past couple of months is looking into Debtors Anonymous. I decided that I really needed external help several weeks ago after I found myself in Target, not wanting to leave until I found something “fun” to buy on top of the cleaning supplies, toiletries, etc. I was just sort of wandering the store aimlessly looking for that one thing that would get the adrenoline pumping. I didn’t NEED anything, I hadn’t seen anything that had caught my attention while shopping for the necessities. But there I was, wasting my time, looking for the one thing that would satisfy this craving in me. All of a sudden, I stopped and realized that this was SICK, I wasn’t just shopping, I was being COMPELLED to buy something I didn’t need. And I was able to get to the checkout and get out of there. So anyway, that is when I decided I needed to check out Debtors Anonymous.

I’ve been to just two meetings so far. The first meeting was about five weeks ago, and the second meeting was last Tuesday. I had never been to a 12-step meeting before, but I introduced myself in the obligatory way, “Hello, my name is Credit Card Hell Girl, and I’m a chronic debtor and compulsive spender.” Looking around, I was expecting to see a bunch of women dressed to the nines and drowning in credit card debt from their shopping sprees. I was surprised to find mostly middle aged women, all pretty average fashion-wise. (LOL!) From that first meeting, I gathered that some of them had hoarding tendencies, others just made bad money decisions and still others have been chronically underemployed. “Sobriety” for members of Debtors Anonymous is no longer using credit cards–not too surprising. I believe after you have attended five meetings, you meet with a “pressure relief group” that helps you set up a monthly budget, etc. Eventually, you are assigned a sponsor, just like in AA. I guess what I learned at that first meeting was kind of scary (i.e, do I really want to be “sober”?), because it took me about a month to make it back to the second meeting. But I’ve decided I need to do this. I know I have issues that need to be dealt with. Regulars in the group told me that the program really works. Tuesday evenings, you’ll know where I’ll be. In the meantime, I am writing down every penny that I spend.